Failing to fail

This wasn't the exam today - know what it *is* for?

I occasionally do mystery shops and audits because, honestly, I love the subterfuge, the acting and imagining I am sort of a spy.  Once upon a time I did loads of these, needing the income, but now I just love doing them - seeing into all sorts on industries I wouldn't normally get to see behind the scenes.  I am so weird.

The audit scripts can be quite complex (several things you have do and or say at certain points, and much to note and observe to report later) and then you have to think yourself into the persona of someone actually doing this for real, so it comes across as believable and relaxed. 

Today I had an exam at a testing centre. 

Very strange experience, taking an exam that you haven't prepared for (obviously) and are told to fail. 

You would think it would be actually really easy to fail, but if there are multiple choice questions, you sort of need to work out the right answer so you can then put the wrong one. Otherwise if you do it randomly you might actually pass!

I had a workings sheet, and got the exam nerves, scribbling away, pen shaking a bit.  People around me all tapping on keyboards. Air con being loud. Timer reducing down and down, freaking me out!

All the time I am conscious of the camera above me and that this was actually CCTV that would be watched. My hair was a mess and I was performing to some random reviewing team.

To reward myself for getting through the exam (which makes no sense as I wasn't really taking it and I get a modest fee for performing the review) I take myself off for Eggs Royale (ham is not enough for me, I demand smoked salmon) and a latte. The waitress has made a heart with the foam, trying to communicate her attraction to me, as she's too shy to just ask me out.

I get this all the time. Hearts, extra straws, parking tickets. All these shy people lusting after me and demonstrating their love in their own personal way.